No Plan B Needed

15 July 04
I’m a little freaked out right now that things are going so well for me. The ideal plan A is moving forward. It is official…Peter is sending me to Thailand on JoGayle’s frequent flier miles. I am excited to move forward and scared to fulfill expectations of Peter and myself. Still waiting to hear from faculty I wrote to for graduate schools. 

27 July 04
Da da da --- do do do, I’m all shook up. Things feel odd right now. Will I ever not feel that I am in a transition, waiting for something for my true life to start? This IS it, but I’m usually too busy looking forward to notice. My contract at the CRC was just extended 5 months, through January. I will be paid $500 per month while in Thailand plus have my expenses (like food) paid. I’m looking forward to Thailand and I’m not. I feel less excited about actually going for the three months and more excited about the doors that the trip might open up and scared about the responsibilities it might involve. All I can do is be myself.