Tomorrow is Halloween. Doesn’t feel like it at all. Once again I am missing the caramel apples and pumpkins. Peter seemed to think it was a good idea for me to go home in Dec.-maybe not permanently, but at least for X-mas with the possibility of me then coming back. I am afraid that if I go home I won’t come back. I don’t want to be grounded in the U.S. because people can’t decide on project direction or funding my return airfare. Yesterday I was all pumped about the project being “mine,” being a field manager, putting in some real time on a real conservation project. Peter left it up to me about whether or not I will return to America in December. I haven’t fully made up my mind yet, but as he left I told him no, that I won’t be requiring that ticket.
On the other hand, my discussions with Peter were a reality check. Sometimes I think I may be a little too isolated and alone here, ending up with these idealistic dreams of living a stress-free life in Thailand. Peter grounded me. He started looking at our data, working in Excel, doing scientist stuff and I was forced to see that part of myself again. I can’t simply ignore that and pretend that I can live where I am for any extended amount of time. I DO have to go to graduate school to challenge myself and work toward my interests. Maybe that is the American perfectionist in me and I was becoming too comfortable being Thai. (But is that a bad thing I have to ask myself)? Peter flat out said that I am ready for graduate school and I want to believe him. I am just still scared. I will apply for the University of Massachusetts and the University of Minnesota in December, but those are the only schools I can manage from here. It will be strained doing the applications as it is.
Ants at camp. Respect forest spirits. Sleeping in the forest? Priceless.
The last two weeks have been extremely busy because we went to into the forest for five days on short notice, then direct to Bangkok, then JoGayle and other Smithsonian people were here. I am just now getting any sort of breather/down time. Overall, I feel much more productive now that Kanda has arrived and we have started to sort through the huge mess that is the carnivore project data.
First, about our five day trip to retrieve seven camera traps…On the 22nd of Sept. we unexpectedly (to me anyway) departed to pick up cameras that had been set out about a month earlier. I find I have to be very very flexible and be ready for many plans of action because usually I don’t get adequate feedback from anyone about our plans. It is partly a language barrier and partly because our plans are constantly changing. Most days I was much too tired to listen intently to try to decipher something in Thai and Kanda was too tired for English with me. The first day of backpacking entailed steep (like really steep) uphill climbing and then a downhill bamboo grabbing obstacle course. Over all of the days in the forest we never covered as many miles/direct distance as I had expected. I don’t know why I didn’t expect the going to be slower. I know the terrain. It is just that we had to stop every few hundred meters for a breather because it was tough going. Probably 30% of the time was spent walking in streams (think trying to maneuver over slippery rocks with a heavy pack while struggling around strangling spiky vines) because that was the only possible passage through certain sections of dense vegetation. We stayed completely soaked wet everyday, all day, from walking through water and from pure sweat. The hammock sleeping turned out ok. I’d say it is a pretty priceless experience and one that I won’t mind repeating. It is not as claustrophobic as I expected. Keeps the mosquitoes out just fine, but not the ants! The first night we picked a poor campsite and I woke up in the middle of the night covered in tiny biting ants. Other highlights. Cord, our ranger navigator, hurt his feet due to sand abrasions. His solution? A home-made bong from a water bottle and bamboo. Surprisingly, I haven’t gotten sick after our trip yet, despite drinking directly from streams along the way.
Let’s see…other stuff. Kanda and I share a room and are getting along fine. I’d say she is fairly “progressive” for a Thai woman, very career oriented and assertive. I think she will work out well for the project. Sometimes I feel useless, like she is doing everything because I can’t ask people for things or organize if the task at all involves Thai. My Thai is not progressing well at all. I have a book filled with words that I hear and try to study with Pom, but I never remember anything. I try not to get frustrated and accept that it will be a slow process. I thought I’d pick up more just listening all the time, but I find myself tuning people out unless I am very focused. Still, I get around doing things easily enough. The chief of the park speaks just enough English for me to have a strained conversation with him. He likes inviting me to dinner so he can practice, however, he can’t pronounce my name so he has taken to calling me Kanchana (a Thai name).
As far as the project, we are just now getting a handle on the big task ahead of us. Organization and quality took a huge downfall in the past couple of months because of the inconsistently of not having a project manager on site. First, they didn’t even have a record of how many camera traps there were originally and how many were lost/stolen/broken. We spent almost an entire day trying to track all of this information down. Part of the problem was getting key people in the same room so the finger pointing couldn’t go out the door. Very frustrating trying to get answers to very simple questions because no one wanted to take responsibility. We are still tracking down cameras that were taken in to be fixed and trying to find photo evidence for all supposedly stolen cameras. At this point we think at least five (!) have been stolen by poachers. Our next big project will be writing an annual report. I know I came into this thing wondering if I’d have enough to keep me busy. Well, turns out I am more than busy. But, it is good. I am enjoying myself despite the daily, every minute almost, frustrations.
First, about our five day trip to retrieve seven camera traps…On the 22nd of Sept. we unexpectedly (to me anyway) departed to pick up cameras that had been set out about a month earlier. I find I have to be very very flexible and be ready for many plans of action because usually I don’t get adequate feedback from anyone about our plans. It is partly a language barrier and partly because our plans are constantly changing. Most days I was much too tired to listen intently to try to decipher something in Thai and Kanda was too tired for English with me. The first day of backpacking entailed steep (like really steep) uphill climbing and then a downhill bamboo grabbing obstacle course. Over all of the days in the forest we never covered as many miles/direct distance as I had expected. I don’t know why I didn’t expect the going to be slower. I know the terrain. It is just that we had to stop every few hundred meters for a breather because it was tough going. Probably 30% of the time was spent walking in streams (think trying to maneuver over slippery rocks with a heavy pack while struggling around strangling spiky vines) because that was the only possible passage through certain sections of dense vegetation. We stayed completely soaked wet everyday, all day, from walking through water and from pure sweat. The hammock sleeping turned out ok. I’d say it is a pretty priceless experience and one that I won’t mind repeating. It is not as claustrophobic as I expected. Keeps the mosquitoes out just fine, but not the ants! The first night we picked a poor campsite and I woke up in the middle of the night covered in tiny biting ants. Other highlights. Cord, our ranger navigator, hurt his feet due to sand abrasions. His solution? A home-made bong from a water bottle and bamboo. Surprisingly, I haven’t gotten sick after our trip yet, despite drinking directly from streams along the way.
Let’s see…other stuff. Kanda and I share a room and are getting along fine. I’d say she is fairly “progressive” for a Thai woman, very career oriented and assertive. I think she will work out well for the project. Sometimes I feel useless, like she is doing everything because I can’t ask people for things or organize if the task at all involves Thai. My Thai is not progressing well at all. I have a book filled with words that I hear and try to study with Pom, but I never remember anything. I try not to get frustrated and accept that it will be a slow process. I thought I’d pick up more just listening all the time, but I find myself tuning people out unless I am very focused. Still, I get around doing things easily enough. The chief of the park speaks just enough English for me to have a strained conversation with him. He likes inviting me to dinner so he can practice, however, he can’t pronounce my name so he has taken to calling me Kanchana (a Thai name).
As far as the project, we are just now getting a handle on the big task ahead of us. Organization and quality took a huge downfall in the past couple of months because of the inconsistently of not having a project manager on site. First, they didn’t even have a record of how many camera traps there were originally and how many were lost/stolen/broken. We spent almost an entire day trying to track all of this information down. Part of the problem was getting key people in the same room so the finger pointing couldn’t go out the door. Very frustrating trying to get answers to very simple questions because no one wanted to take responsibility. We are still tracking down cameras that were taken in to be fixed and trying to find photo evidence for all supposedly stolen cameras. At this point we think at least five (!) have been stolen by poachers. Our next big project will be writing an annual report. I know I came into this thing wondering if I’d have enough to keep me busy. Well, turns out I am more than busy. But, it is good. I am enjoying myself despite the daily, every minute almost, frustrations.
Khao Yai National Park
I knew what to expect but it will still take getting used to the COLD shower right in with the toilet so the floor is never dry and a sink that sprays two feet when I try to wash my hands, or eating mushrooms and rice for breakfast, or trying to sleep on a mattress that is harder than my wood floor and swarming with tiny termites with rats crawling down the walls. I have questions like where do I hand-wash my clothes and can I drink the water?
My introduction to the park actually wasn’t that painful. I came up on the 10th with Tim (from a nonprofit environmental organization called WildAid) and he showed me around, introduced me. So, at least people kind of know why I am here wandering around; although, I’m still not entirely sure of my role. I’m in a waiting period this week until we get the camera trap schedule and know when to go pick them up with the rangers—which will involve a four or five day backpacking trip. Usually this would be fine, except I’ll be sleeping in a hammock and having to keep up with a group of rangers. Also, the Thai are very clean and see it as rude if you don’t wash before dinner. Full out wash. So, I can’t simply go without showering for days like I would normally do backpacking. No, I’ve got to figure out how to take a full bath in the river while being modest (I was told that a swimming suit is not appropriate, but I’ve got to do it with a sarong wrap or something). Anyway, finally getting out in the forest will be something to look forward to. I think I’m going to be very very challenged with these mountains around here!
It is beautiful. I wake up to the sound of gibbons and see full dense forest outside of my windows. But, it is also a touristy park. I eat at a nearby restaurant (all in the park) and the tables are always occupied by some sort of Thai tour group. And, I even saw a couple of foreigners the other day. I haven’t been bold with my Thai yet and get around by smiling, nodding, and pointing. Or, I’ve been staying in my room to myself too much over the past couple of days. On the 17th I’m expecting Kanda, my translator and helper/counterpart from WildAid to arrive. We will be sharing a room and hopefully we can begin to work together on whatever needs to be done for this project.
16 Sept 04
Well, the people I live with finally got me out of my room. The three people (an older gentleman, 33 year old woman, and quite nice to look at 26 year old guy) are employed by the park to give Thai massages. What kind of housing arrangement could be better than that!? Anyway, so I’ve been busy struggling and fumbling and laughing trying to communicate with them. The guy (I think his name is Pom) tries to initiate conversation by bringing things to my room (fruit, coffee, etc.).
I have hot (well warmish) water! Halleluiah! (how do you spell that!?) No matter. That made my day.
My introduction to the park actually wasn’t that painful. I came up on the 10th with Tim (from a nonprofit environmental organization called WildAid) and he showed me around, introduced me. So, at least people kind of know why I am here wandering around; although, I’m still not entirely sure of my role. I’m in a waiting period this week until we get the camera trap schedule and know when to go pick them up with the rangers—which will involve a four or five day backpacking trip. Usually this would be fine, except I’ll be sleeping in a hammock and having to keep up with a group of rangers. Also, the Thai are very clean and see it as rude if you don’t wash before dinner. Full out wash. So, I can’t simply go without showering for days like I would normally do backpacking. No, I’ve got to figure out how to take a full bath in the river while being modest (I was told that a swimming suit is not appropriate, but I’ve got to do it with a sarong wrap or something). Anyway, finally getting out in the forest will be something to look forward to. I think I’m going to be very very challenged with these mountains around here!
It is beautiful. I wake up to the sound of gibbons and see full dense forest outside of my windows. But, it is also a touristy park. I eat at a nearby restaurant (all in the park) and the tables are always occupied by some sort of Thai tour group. And, I even saw a couple of foreigners the other day. I haven’t been bold with my Thai yet and get around by smiling, nodding, and pointing. Or, I’ve been staying in my room to myself too much over the past couple of days. On the 17th I’m expecting Kanda, my translator and helper/counterpart from WildAid to arrive. We will be sharing a room and hopefully we can begin to work together on whatever needs to be done for this project.
16 Sept 04
Well, the people I live with finally got me out of my room. The three people (an older gentleman, 33 year old woman, and quite nice to look at 26 year old guy) are employed by the park to give Thai massages. What kind of housing arrangement could be better than that!? Anyway, so I’ve been busy struggling and fumbling and laughing trying to communicate with them. The guy (I think his name is Pom) tries to initiate conversation by bringing things to my room (fruit, coffee, etc.).
I have hot (well warmish) water! Halleluiah! (how do you spell that!?) No matter. That made my day.