I am still in Thailand. I am staying until July! Yes really. My plane ticket was originally to return on the 6 of December, but I just changed it. Now I just have to hope I can change my VISA as well…
Things are well, interesting. I’d say they were fun in an instant, although I can’t exactly tell you why. We work everyday. On the 26th of October we got back from a five day, four night, backpacking trip to setup seven camera traps. During our first excursion into the forest, Somneuk, one of the rangers, was the team leader, took control, everything was organized for us, prepared by him, recorded by him, we were observers trudging along with our packs. This time I was in control—map in hand. I tracked our progress and chose camera locations. A very tough and successful trip. I returned literally covered in hundreds of tick bites (it still looks like I have chicken pox). The first thing Pom did when he saw me was whip out the herbal ointment and carefully smear each bite with this horrible menthol smelling gel. Ah, the joys of fieldwork. But, we found tiger tracks. Oh, and just last night there was a tiger spotted in a group of houses within walking distance of my house. Very promising.
Sometimes I think to myself I need to appreciate everyday because I’ve found the right line of work, I am where I want to be, working on a conservation project, monitoring populations. Other days I feel as if I am working on a high school (or maybe rather elementary school) science day fair project. I don’t mind that I’m asked to manage data, people, and publicity. I never expected to be asked to design an exhibit to showcase our project, but I was recently, and I just took it as part of the job. The unfortunate part was that we were asked to do this a day before all of the CITES international delegates arrived. If we had known earlier we could have printed out a nice map poster in Bangkok. Instead, we printed scanned photos from the computer, cut them out with scissors, laminated them with sheets you iron together, and tacked them onto a plastic poster board with double sided tape! Things are often this ghetto around here. Probably 85% of my time is spent on tasks other than what one would consider science. I find myself practicing other skills: PATIENCE, communication, organization, budget planning, exhibition design, and public relations—everything that goes along with running a field project in a tourist oriented park.
I don’t really know what to report. My days are relaxed from an external view. But internally, I spend a lot of time (too much time sometimes) thinking. I have a lot of down time (during conversations that I can’t understand). Plus, there is just a lot of waiting overall for things to happen. Something (like trying to buy batteries) that you think could be done in a half-hour takes an entire day that may span into a week. I’ve learned to expect a slow pace. If I try to push things I mess them up. The Thais seem to have a hierarchical system through which events happen and I just have to let things take their course until they get done.
Kanda (she’s the other co-project field manager who is Thai) and I have gotten finished with most of the general project organizing that needed to be done. I just finished a 55 page annual project report. So, I’m hoping things will slow down a bit. No forest trip this month because our rangers are busy with other obligations. Kanda and I are at an odd place right now. I tend to work at the house and she tends to work at the office. She has her set of friends that she can speak rapid Thai with and I feel comfortable struggling with the laughing hand gestures and broken Eng. phrases of my housemates. Part of the time I can’t tell if we have language communication problems, regular communication problems, or just “we each have our own way of doing things” problems.
I really need someone to girl talk with! Kanda doesn’t quite fill that role for me. She can go off with her friend and speed talk in Thai. I don’t have that. It is lonely. I can’t share frustrations and funny events. I can’t gossip. I can’t ask advice. I mean, I like me time, but I can only take so much of thinking and thoughts in my head. I know that indicates that I should study Thai harder, but the steps seem too big, too difficult.
Pom is my Thai study buddy. We usually spend time in the evenings attempting to practice Thai and English, although I still feel like I am getting nowhere with the language. Learning individual words just doesn’t seem to get me anywhere, and I can’t remember (and force myself to use) full phrases. We get by using the few words of Thai that I can pronounce correctly strung together with the few words of English that Pom knows. You would think that being mostly immersed in the language would get me somewhere, but most times the immersion is overwhelming. I can barely stay attentive and definitely tune out everyone around me as they discuss, argue, talk if I am not 100% alert.
Sitting here everyday, enjoying my cup of coffee in the morning breeze as I await a leisurely nine o’clock breakfast, the whole attitude of “sabaii sabaii” (take it easy) is far removed from the stress of America. When I work at my own pace it makes it very difficult to think about being in graduate classes next fall.
I am still interested in investigating the predator-prey relationships for dhole (wild dogs) and ungulate communities in the park. I have recently been working with Peter to develop some basic ideas for a project proposal; however, I have been busy managing our carnivore project and have neglected any serious dhole work. I have spotted one pack in the park but have not started any consistent observations.
Plans Evolve.
Tomorrow is Halloween. Doesn’t feel like it at all. Once again I am missing the caramel apples and pumpkins. Peter seemed to think it was a good idea for me to go home in Dec.-maybe not permanently, but at least for X-mas with the possibility of me then coming back. I am afraid that if I go home I won’t come back. I don’t want to be grounded in the U.S. because people can’t decide on project direction or funding my return airfare. Yesterday I was all pumped about the project being “mine,” being a field manager, putting in some real time on a real conservation project. Peter left it up to me about whether or not I will return to America in December. I haven’t fully made up my mind yet, but as he left I told him no, that I won’t be requiring that ticket.
On the other hand, my discussions with Peter were a reality check. Sometimes I think I may be a little too isolated and alone here, ending up with these idealistic dreams of living a stress-free life in Thailand. Peter grounded me. He started looking at our data, working in Excel, doing scientist stuff and I was forced to see that part of myself again. I can’t simply ignore that and pretend that I can live where I am for any extended amount of time. I DO have to go to graduate school to challenge myself and work toward my interests. Maybe that is the American perfectionist in me and I was becoming too comfortable being Thai. (But is that a bad thing I have to ask myself)? Peter flat out said that I am ready for graduate school and I want to believe him. I am just still scared. I will apply for the University of Massachusetts and the University of Minnesota in December, but those are the only schools I can manage from here. It will be strained doing the applications as it is.
On the other hand, my discussions with Peter were a reality check. Sometimes I think I may be a little too isolated and alone here, ending up with these idealistic dreams of living a stress-free life in Thailand. Peter grounded me. He started looking at our data, working in Excel, doing scientist stuff and I was forced to see that part of myself again. I can’t simply ignore that and pretend that I can live where I am for any extended amount of time. I DO have to go to graduate school to challenge myself and work toward my interests. Maybe that is the American perfectionist in me and I was becoming too comfortable being Thai. (But is that a bad thing I have to ask myself)? Peter flat out said that I am ready for graduate school and I want to believe him. I am just still scared. I will apply for the University of Massachusetts and the University of Minnesota in December, but those are the only schools I can manage from here. It will be strained doing the applications as it is.
Ants at camp. Respect forest spirits. Sleeping in the forest? Priceless.
The last two weeks have been extremely busy because we went to into the forest for five days on short notice, then direct to Bangkok, then JoGayle and other Smithsonian people were here. I am just now getting any sort of breather/down time. Overall, I feel much more productive now that Kanda has arrived and we have started to sort through the huge mess that is the carnivore project data.
First, about our five day trip to retrieve seven camera traps…On the 22nd of Sept. we unexpectedly (to me anyway) departed to pick up cameras that had been set out about a month earlier. I find I have to be very very flexible and be ready for many plans of action because usually I don’t get adequate feedback from anyone about our plans. It is partly a language barrier and partly because our plans are constantly changing. Most days I was much too tired to listen intently to try to decipher something in Thai and Kanda was too tired for English with me. The first day of backpacking entailed steep (like really steep) uphill climbing and then a downhill bamboo grabbing obstacle course. Over all of the days in the forest we never covered as many miles/direct distance as I had expected. I don’t know why I didn’t expect the going to be slower. I know the terrain. It is just that we had to stop every few hundred meters for a breather because it was tough going. Probably 30% of the time was spent walking in streams (think trying to maneuver over slippery rocks with a heavy pack while struggling around strangling spiky vines) because that was the only possible passage through certain sections of dense vegetation. We stayed completely soaked wet everyday, all day, from walking through water and from pure sweat. The hammock sleeping turned out ok. I’d say it is a pretty priceless experience and one that I won’t mind repeating. It is not as claustrophobic as I expected. Keeps the mosquitoes out just fine, but not the ants! The first night we picked a poor campsite and I woke up in the middle of the night covered in tiny biting ants. Other highlights. Cord, our ranger navigator, hurt his feet due to sand abrasions. His solution? A home-made bong from a water bottle and bamboo. Surprisingly, I haven’t gotten sick after our trip yet, despite drinking directly from streams along the way.
Let’s see…other stuff. Kanda and I share a room and are getting along fine. I’d say she is fairly “progressive” for a Thai woman, very career oriented and assertive. I think she will work out well for the project. Sometimes I feel useless, like she is doing everything because I can’t ask people for things or organize if the task at all involves Thai. My Thai is not progressing well at all. I have a book filled with words that I hear and try to study with Pom, but I never remember anything. I try not to get frustrated and accept that it will be a slow process. I thought I’d pick up more just listening all the time, but I find myself tuning people out unless I am very focused. Still, I get around doing things easily enough. The chief of the park speaks just enough English for me to have a strained conversation with him. He likes inviting me to dinner so he can practice, however, he can’t pronounce my name so he has taken to calling me Kanchana (a Thai name).
As far as the project, we are just now getting a handle on the big task ahead of us. Organization and quality took a huge downfall in the past couple of months because of the inconsistently of not having a project manager on site. First, they didn’t even have a record of how many camera traps there were originally and how many were lost/stolen/broken. We spent almost an entire day trying to track all of this information down. Part of the problem was getting key people in the same room so the finger pointing couldn’t go out the door. Very frustrating trying to get answers to very simple questions because no one wanted to take responsibility. We are still tracking down cameras that were taken in to be fixed and trying to find photo evidence for all supposedly stolen cameras. At this point we think at least five (!) have been stolen by poachers. Our next big project will be writing an annual report. I know I came into this thing wondering if I’d have enough to keep me busy. Well, turns out I am more than busy. But, it is good. I am enjoying myself despite the daily, every minute almost, frustrations.
First, about our five day trip to retrieve seven camera traps…On the 22nd of Sept. we unexpectedly (to me anyway) departed to pick up cameras that had been set out about a month earlier. I find I have to be very very flexible and be ready for many plans of action because usually I don’t get adequate feedback from anyone about our plans. It is partly a language barrier and partly because our plans are constantly changing. Most days I was much too tired to listen intently to try to decipher something in Thai and Kanda was too tired for English with me. The first day of backpacking entailed steep (like really steep) uphill climbing and then a downhill bamboo grabbing obstacle course. Over all of the days in the forest we never covered as many miles/direct distance as I had expected. I don’t know why I didn’t expect the going to be slower. I know the terrain. It is just that we had to stop every few hundred meters for a breather because it was tough going. Probably 30% of the time was spent walking in streams (think trying to maneuver over slippery rocks with a heavy pack while struggling around strangling spiky vines) because that was the only possible passage through certain sections of dense vegetation. We stayed completely soaked wet everyday, all day, from walking through water and from pure sweat. The hammock sleeping turned out ok. I’d say it is a pretty priceless experience and one that I won’t mind repeating. It is not as claustrophobic as I expected. Keeps the mosquitoes out just fine, but not the ants! The first night we picked a poor campsite and I woke up in the middle of the night covered in tiny biting ants. Other highlights. Cord, our ranger navigator, hurt his feet due to sand abrasions. His solution? A home-made bong from a water bottle and bamboo. Surprisingly, I haven’t gotten sick after our trip yet, despite drinking directly from streams along the way.
Let’s see…other stuff. Kanda and I share a room and are getting along fine. I’d say she is fairly “progressive” for a Thai woman, very career oriented and assertive. I think she will work out well for the project. Sometimes I feel useless, like she is doing everything because I can’t ask people for things or organize if the task at all involves Thai. My Thai is not progressing well at all. I have a book filled with words that I hear and try to study with Pom, but I never remember anything. I try not to get frustrated and accept that it will be a slow process. I thought I’d pick up more just listening all the time, but I find myself tuning people out unless I am very focused. Still, I get around doing things easily enough. The chief of the park speaks just enough English for me to have a strained conversation with him. He likes inviting me to dinner so he can practice, however, he can’t pronounce my name so he has taken to calling me Kanchana (a Thai name).
As far as the project, we are just now getting a handle on the big task ahead of us. Organization and quality took a huge downfall in the past couple of months because of the inconsistently of not having a project manager on site. First, they didn’t even have a record of how many camera traps there were originally and how many were lost/stolen/broken. We spent almost an entire day trying to track all of this information down. Part of the problem was getting key people in the same room so the finger pointing couldn’t go out the door. Very frustrating trying to get answers to very simple questions because no one wanted to take responsibility. We are still tracking down cameras that were taken in to be fixed and trying to find photo evidence for all supposedly stolen cameras. At this point we think at least five (!) have been stolen by poachers. Our next big project will be writing an annual report. I know I came into this thing wondering if I’d have enough to keep me busy. Well, turns out I am more than busy. But, it is good. I am enjoying myself despite the daily, every minute almost, frustrations.