Aap Naam
Smile. I just finished an afternoon shower (aaap-naam). I’ve learned first hand why in the Thai culture, when you visit someone’s home they don’t ask you “would you like a cup of coffee?” they ask, “would you like to take a bath?” Because it is much needed in this heat and feels darn good!
Choices
“Choose simplicity over extravagance. Choose conversation over television. Choose to talk things out rather than stew in your anger overnight…Make your own choices in your own time and choose to stick with them.” -- Rachel Snyder
What do I choose? What makes me happy? How much RISK am I willing to take?
“How extraordinary people are, that they get themselves into such situations where they go on doing what they dislike doing, and have no obligation to do simply because it seems to be expected.” -- Margaret Drabble
What do I choose? What makes me happy? How much RISK am I willing to take?
“How extraordinary people are, that they get themselves into such situations where they go on doing what they dislike doing, and have no obligation to do simply because it seems to be expected.” -- Margaret Drabble
Chan Phuut Phassa Thai Nit Noy
As the months tick by and I get further into this I feel increasingly frustrated and incompetent with the language things. It is OK for the first 2 months, you are still new, but later you should have something to show for yourself. We did have a good (and actual) study session last night. Sa-mai and Chan were making an effort to learn English, Pom was reviewing my flashcards, and Sa-kon was sticking around to translate. So, to get everyone on the same page, we’d end up repeating phrases multiple times – the best way to learn and it was fun. Somehow need to encourage more of that.
24 November 04 5:18pm
The Thai cooking style is reflective of the general lifestyle attitude. Simple. Every dish is prepared with the same basic wok and metal spatula. A simple bowl shape perfectly tuned over the generations to be used with quantities of oil. The menus have evolved with the tools. Other musts of the Thai kitchen: A mortar and pestle (for grinding those hot peppers and garlic), fish sauce, oyster sauce, and of course rice, sugar, and MSG. Everything else is fresh bought at the market. We had one dish tonight of an egg with a vegetable called Pak-ChaOhm. Meals consist of three or four bowls which you spoon out (communally) small portions (ie. a bite size piece of meat and a mushroom) to add to your personal heap of rice. So, automatically there is variety and I’ve been able to selectively spoon/avoid sketchy/chewy/bone/finger/eyeball/beak pieces of meat. I think I am eating more healthy than at any other point of my life.
24 November 04 5:18pm
The Thai cooking style is reflective of the general lifestyle attitude. Simple. Every dish is prepared with the same basic wok and metal spatula. A simple bowl shape perfectly tuned over the generations to be used with quantities of oil. The menus have evolved with the tools. Other musts of the Thai kitchen: A mortar and pestle (for grinding those hot peppers and garlic), fish sauce, oyster sauce, and of course rice, sugar, and MSG. Everything else is fresh bought at the market. We had one dish tonight of an egg with a vegetable called Pak-ChaOhm. Meals consist of three or four bowls which you spoon out (communally) small portions (ie. a bite size piece of meat and a mushroom) to add to your personal heap of rice. So, automatically there is variety and I’ve been able to selectively spoon/avoid sketchy/chewy/bone/finger/eyeball/beak pieces of meat. I think I am eating more healthy than at any other point of my life.
Ups and Downs of Conservation Work Abroad
I am still in Thailand. I am staying until July! Yes really. My plane ticket was originally to return on the 6 of December, but I just changed it. Now I just have to hope I can change my VISA as well…
Things are well, interesting. I’d say they were fun in an instant, although I can’t exactly tell you why. We work everyday. On the 26th of October we got back from a five day, four night, backpacking trip to setup seven camera traps. During our first excursion into the forest, Somneuk, one of the rangers, was the team leader, took control, everything was organized for us, prepared by him, recorded by him, we were observers trudging along with our packs. This time I was in control—map in hand. I tracked our progress and chose camera locations. A very tough and successful trip. I returned literally covered in hundreds of tick bites (it still looks like I have chicken pox). The first thing Pom did when he saw me was whip out the herbal ointment and carefully smear each bite with this horrible menthol smelling gel. Ah, the joys of fieldwork. But, we found tiger tracks. Oh, and just last night there was a tiger spotted in a group of houses within walking distance of my house. Very promising.
Sometimes I think to myself I need to appreciate everyday because I’ve found the right line of work, I am where I want to be, working on a conservation project, monitoring populations. Other days I feel as if I am working on a high school (or maybe rather elementary school) science day fair project. I don’t mind that I’m asked to manage data, people, and publicity. I never expected to be asked to design an exhibit to showcase our project, but I was recently, and I just took it as part of the job. The unfortunate part was that we were asked to do this a day before all of the CITES international delegates arrived. If we had known earlier we could have printed out a nice map poster in Bangkok. Instead, we printed scanned photos from the computer, cut them out with scissors, laminated them with sheets you iron together, and tacked them onto a plastic poster board with double sided tape! Things are often this ghetto around here. Probably 85% of my time is spent on tasks other than what one would consider science. I find myself practicing other skills: PATIENCE, communication, organization, budget planning, exhibition design, and public relations—everything that goes along with running a field project in a tourist oriented park.
I don’t really know what to report. My days are relaxed from an external view. But internally, I spend a lot of time (too much time sometimes) thinking. I have a lot of down time (during conversations that I can’t understand). Plus, there is just a lot of waiting overall for things to happen. Something (like trying to buy batteries) that you think could be done in a half-hour takes an entire day that may span into a week. I’ve learned to expect a slow pace. If I try to push things I mess them up. The Thais seem to have a hierarchical system through which events happen and I just have to let things take their course until they get done.
Kanda (she’s the other co-project field manager who is Thai) and I have gotten finished with most of the general project organizing that needed to be done. I just finished a 55 page annual project report. So, I’m hoping things will slow down a bit. No forest trip this month because our rangers are busy with other obligations. Kanda and I are at an odd place right now. I tend to work at the house and she tends to work at the office. She has her set of friends that she can speak rapid Thai with and I feel comfortable struggling with the laughing hand gestures and broken Eng. phrases of my housemates. Part of the time I can’t tell if we have language communication problems, regular communication problems, or just “we each have our own way of doing things” problems.
I really need someone to girl talk with! Kanda doesn’t quite fill that role for me. She can go off with her friend and speed talk in Thai. I don’t have that. It is lonely. I can’t share frustrations and funny events. I can’t gossip. I can’t ask advice. I mean, I like me time, but I can only take so much of thinking and thoughts in my head. I know that indicates that I should study Thai harder, but the steps seem too big, too difficult.
Pom is my Thai study buddy. We usually spend time in the evenings attempting to practice Thai and English, although I still feel like I am getting nowhere with the language. Learning individual words just doesn’t seem to get me anywhere, and I can’t remember (and force myself to use) full phrases. We get by using the few words of Thai that I can pronounce correctly strung together with the few words of English that Pom knows. You would think that being mostly immersed in the language would get me somewhere, but most times the immersion is overwhelming. I can barely stay attentive and definitely tune out everyone around me as they discuss, argue, talk if I am not 100% alert.
Sitting here everyday, enjoying my cup of coffee in the morning breeze as I await a leisurely nine o’clock breakfast, the whole attitude of “sabaii sabaii” (take it easy) is far removed from the stress of America. When I work at my own pace it makes it very difficult to think about being in graduate classes next fall.
I am still interested in investigating the predator-prey relationships for dhole (wild dogs) and ungulate communities in the park. I have recently been working with Peter to develop some basic ideas for a project proposal; however, I have been busy managing our carnivore project and have neglected any serious dhole work. I have spotted one pack in the park but have not started any consistent observations.
Things are well, interesting. I’d say they were fun in an instant, although I can’t exactly tell you why. We work everyday. On the 26th of October we got back from a five day, four night, backpacking trip to setup seven camera traps. During our first excursion into the forest, Somneuk, one of the rangers, was the team leader, took control, everything was organized for us, prepared by him, recorded by him, we were observers trudging along with our packs. This time I was in control—map in hand. I tracked our progress and chose camera locations. A very tough and successful trip. I returned literally covered in hundreds of tick bites (it still looks like I have chicken pox). The first thing Pom did when he saw me was whip out the herbal ointment and carefully smear each bite with this horrible menthol smelling gel. Ah, the joys of fieldwork. But, we found tiger tracks. Oh, and just last night there was a tiger spotted in a group of houses within walking distance of my house. Very promising.
Sometimes I think to myself I need to appreciate everyday because I’ve found the right line of work, I am where I want to be, working on a conservation project, monitoring populations. Other days I feel as if I am working on a high school (or maybe rather elementary school) science day fair project. I don’t mind that I’m asked to manage data, people, and publicity. I never expected to be asked to design an exhibit to showcase our project, but I was recently, and I just took it as part of the job. The unfortunate part was that we were asked to do this a day before all of the CITES international delegates arrived. If we had known earlier we could have printed out a nice map poster in Bangkok. Instead, we printed scanned photos from the computer, cut them out with scissors, laminated them with sheets you iron together, and tacked them onto a plastic poster board with double sided tape! Things are often this ghetto around here. Probably 85% of my time is spent on tasks other than what one would consider science. I find myself practicing other skills: PATIENCE, communication, organization, budget planning, exhibition design, and public relations—everything that goes along with running a field project in a tourist oriented park.
I don’t really know what to report. My days are relaxed from an external view. But internally, I spend a lot of time (too much time sometimes) thinking. I have a lot of down time (during conversations that I can’t understand). Plus, there is just a lot of waiting overall for things to happen. Something (like trying to buy batteries) that you think could be done in a half-hour takes an entire day that may span into a week. I’ve learned to expect a slow pace. If I try to push things I mess them up. The Thais seem to have a hierarchical system through which events happen and I just have to let things take their course until they get done.
Kanda (she’s the other co-project field manager who is Thai) and I have gotten finished with most of the general project organizing that needed to be done. I just finished a 55 page annual project report. So, I’m hoping things will slow down a bit. No forest trip this month because our rangers are busy with other obligations. Kanda and I are at an odd place right now. I tend to work at the house and she tends to work at the office. She has her set of friends that she can speak rapid Thai with and I feel comfortable struggling with the laughing hand gestures and broken Eng. phrases of my housemates. Part of the time I can’t tell if we have language communication problems, regular communication problems, or just “we each have our own way of doing things” problems.
I really need someone to girl talk with! Kanda doesn’t quite fill that role for me. She can go off with her friend and speed talk in Thai. I don’t have that. It is lonely. I can’t share frustrations and funny events. I can’t gossip. I can’t ask advice. I mean, I like me time, but I can only take so much of thinking and thoughts in my head. I know that indicates that I should study Thai harder, but the steps seem too big, too difficult.
Pom is my Thai study buddy. We usually spend time in the evenings attempting to practice Thai and English, although I still feel like I am getting nowhere with the language. Learning individual words just doesn’t seem to get me anywhere, and I can’t remember (and force myself to use) full phrases. We get by using the few words of Thai that I can pronounce correctly strung together with the few words of English that Pom knows. You would think that being mostly immersed in the language would get me somewhere, but most times the immersion is overwhelming. I can barely stay attentive and definitely tune out everyone around me as they discuss, argue, talk if I am not 100% alert.
Sitting here everyday, enjoying my cup of coffee in the morning breeze as I await a leisurely nine o’clock breakfast, the whole attitude of “sabaii sabaii” (take it easy) is far removed from the stress of America. When I work at my own pace it makes it very difficult to think about being in graduate classes next fall.
I am still interested in investigating the predator-prey relationships for dhole (wild dogs) and ungulate communities in the park. I have recently been working with Peter to develop some basic ideas for a project proposal; however, I have been busy managing our carnivore project and have neglected any serious dhole work. I have spotted one pack in the park but have not started any consistent observations.
Plans Evolve.
Tomorrow is Halloween. Doesn’t feel like it at all. Once again I am missing the caramel apples and pumpkins. Peter seemed to think it was a good idea for me to go home in Dec.-maybe not permanently, but at least for X-mas with the possibility of me then coming back. I am afraid that if I go home I won’t come back. I don’t want to be grounded in the U.S. because people can’t decide on project direction or funding my return airfare. Yesterday I was all pumped about the project being “mine,” being a field manager, putting in some real time on a real conservation project. Peter left it up to me about whether or not I will return to America in December. I haven’t fully made up my mind yet, but as he left I told him no, that I won’t be requiring that ticket.
On the other hand, my discussions with Peter were a reality check. Sometimes I think I may be a little too isolated and alone here, ending up with these idealistic dreams of living a stress-free life in Thailand. Peter grounded me. He started looking at our data, working in Excel, doing scientist stuff and I was forced to see that part of myself again. I can’t simply ignore that and pretend that I can live where I am for any extended amount of time. I DO have to go to graduate school to challenge myself and work toward my interests. Maybe that is the American perfectionist in me and I was becoming too comfortable being Thai. (But is that a bad thing I have to ask myself)? Peter flat out said that I am ready for graduate school and I want to believe him. I am just still scared. I will apply for the University of Massachusetts and the University of Minnesota in December, but those are the only schools I can manage from here. It will be strained doing the applications as it is.
On the other hand, my discussions with Peter were a reality check. Sometimes I think I may be a little too isolated and alone here, ending up with these idealistic dreams of living a stress-free life in Thailand. Peter grounded me. He started looking at our data, working in Excel, doing scientist stuff and I was forced to see that part of myself again. I can’t simply ignore that and pretend that I can live where I am for any extended amount of time. I DO have to go to graduate school to challenge myself and work toward my interests. Maybe that is the American perfectionist in me and I was becoming too comfortable being Thai. (But is that a bad thing I have to ask myself)? Peter flat out said that I am ready for graduate school and I want to believe him. I am just still scared. I will apply for the University of Massachusetts and the University of Minnesota in December, but those are the only schools I can manage from here. It will be strained doing the applications as it is.
Ants at camp. Respect forest spirits. Sleeping in the forest? Priceless.
The last two weeks have been extremely busy because we went to into the forest for five days on short notice, then direct to Bangkok, then JoGayle and other Smithsonian people were here. I am just now getting any sort of breather/down time. Overall, I feel much more productive now that Kanda has arrived and we have started to sort through the huge mess that is the carnivore project data.
First, about our five day trip to retrieve seven camera traps…On the 22nd of Sept. we unexpectedly (to me anyway) departed to pick up cameras that had been set out about a month earlier. I find I have to be very very flexible and be ready for many plans of action because usually I don’t get adequate feedback from anyone about our plans. It is partly a language barrier and partly because our plans are constantly changing. Most days I was much too tired to listen intently to try to decipher something in Thai and Kanda was too tired for English with me. The first day of backpacking entailed steep (like really steep) uphill climbing and then a downhill bamboo grabbing obstacle course. Over all of the days in the forest we never covered as many miles/direct distance as I had expected. I don’t know why I didn’t expect the going to be slower. I know the terrain. It is just that we had to stop every few hundred meters for a breather because it was tough going. Probably 30% of the time was spent walking in streams (think trying to maneuver over slippery rocks with a heavy pack while struggling around strangling spiky vines) because that was the only possible passage through certain sections of dense vegetation. We stayed completely soaked wet everyday, all day, from walking through water and from pure sweat. The hammock sleeping turned out ok. I’d say it is a pretty priceless experience and one that I won’t mind repeating. It is not as claustrophobic as I expected. Keeps the mosquitoes out just fine, but not the ants! The first night we picked a poor campsite and I woke up in the middle of the night covered in tiny biting ants. Other highlights. Cord, our ranger navigator, hurt his feet due to sand abrasions. His solution? A home-made bong from a water bottle and bamboo. Surprisingly, I haven’t gotten sick after our trip yet, despite drinking directly from streams along the way.
Let’s see…other stuff. Kanda and I share a room and are getting along fine. I’d say she is fairly “progressive” for a Thai woman, very career oriented and assertive. I think she will work out well for the project. Sometimes I feel useless, like she is doing everything because I can’t ask people for things or organize if the task at all involves Thai. My Thai is not progressing well at all. I have a book filled with words that I hear and try to study with Pom, but I never remember anything. I try not to get frustrated and accept that it will be a slow process. I thought I’d pick up more just listening all the time, but I find myself tuning people out unless I am very focused. Still, I get around doing things easily enough. The chief of the park speaks just enough English for me to have a strained conversation with him. He likes inviting me to dinner so he can practice, however, he can’t pronounce my name so he has taken to calling me Kanchana (a Thai name).
As far as the project, we are just now getting a handle on the big task ahead of us. Organization and quality took a huge downfall in the past couple of months because of the inconsistently of not having a project manager on site. First, they didn’t even have a record of how many camera traps there were originally and how many were lost/stolen/broken. We spent almost an entire day trying to track all of this information down. Part of the problem was getting key people in the same room so the finger pointing couldn’t go out the door. Very frustrating trying to get answers to very simple questions because no one wanted to take responsibility. We are still tracking down cameras that were taken in to be fixed and trying to find photo evidence for all supposedly stolen cameras. At this point we think at least five (!) have been stolen by poachers. Our next big project will be writing an annual report. I know I came into this thing wondering if I’d have enough to keep me busy. Well, turns out I am more than busy. But, it is good. I am enjoying myself despite the daily, every minute almost, frustrations.
First, about our five day trip to retrieve seven camera traps…On the 22nd of Sept. we unexpectedly (to me anyway) departed to pick up cameras that had been set out about a month earlier. I find I have to be very very flexible and be ready for many plans of action because usually I don’t get adequate feedback from anyone about our plans. It is partly a language barrier and partly because our plans are constantly changing. Most days I was much too tired to listen intently to try to decipher something in Thai and Kanda was too tired for English with me. The first day of backpacking entailed steep (like really steep) uphill climbing and then a downhill bamboo grabbing obstacle course. Over all of the days in the forest we never covered as many miles/direct distance as I had expected. I don’t know why I didn’t expect the going to be slower. I know the terrain. It is just that we had to stop every few hundred meters for a breather because it was tough going. Probably 30% of the time was spent walking in streams (think trying to maneuver over slippery rocks with a heavy pack while struggling around strangling spiky vines) because that was the only possible passage through certain sections of dense vegetation. We stayed completely soaked wet everyday, all day, from walking through water and from pure sweat. The hammock sleeping turned out ok. I’d say it is a pretty priceless experience and one that I won’t mind repeating. It is not as claustrophobic as I expected. Keeps the mosquitoes out just fine, but not the ants! The first night we picked a poor campsite and I woke up in the middle of the night covered in tiny biting ants. Other highlights. Cord, our ranger navigator, hurt his feet due to sand abrasions. His solution? A home-made bong from a water bottle and bamboo. Surprisingly, I haven’t gotten sick after our trip yet, despite drinking directly from streams along the way.
Let’s see…other stuff. Kanda and I share a room and are getting along fine. I’d say she is fairly “progressive” for a Thai woman, very career oriented and assertive. I think she will work out well for the project. Sometimes I feel useless, like she is doing everything because I can’t ask people for things or organize if the task at all involves Thai. My Thai is not progressing well at all. I have a book filled with words that I hear and try to study with Pom, but I never remember anything. I try not to get frustrated and accept that it will be a slow process. I thought I’d pick up more just listening all the time, but I find myself tuning people out unless I am very focused. Still, I get around doing things easily enough. The chief of the park speaks just enough English for me to have a strained conversation with him. He likes inviting me to dinner so he can practice, however, he can’t pronounce my name so he has taken to calling me Kanchana (a Thai name).
As far as the project, we are just now getting a handle on the big task ahead of us. Organization and quality took a huge downfall in the past couple of months because of the inconsistently of not having a project manager on site. First, they didn’t even have a record of how many camera traps there were originally and how many were lost/stolen/broken. We spent almost an entire day trying to track all of this information down. Part of the problem was getting key people in the same room so the finger pointing couldn’t go out the door. Very frustrating trying to get answers to very simple questions because no one wanted to take responsibility. We are still tracking down cameras that were taken in to be fixed and trying to find photo evidence for all supposedly stolen cameras. At this point we think at least five (!) have been stolen by poachers. Our next big project will be writing an annual report. I know I came into this thing wondering if I’d have enough to keep me busy. Well, turns out I am more than busy. But, it is good. I am enjoying myself despite the daily, every minute almost, frustrations.
Khao Yai National Park
I knew what to expect but it will still take getting used to the COLD shower right in with the toilet so the floor is never dry and a sink that sprays two feet when I try to wash my hands, or eating mushrooms and rice for breakfast, or trying to sleep on a mattress that is harder than my wood floor and swarming with tiny termites with rats crawling down the walls. I have questions like where do I hand-wash my clothes and can I drink the water?
My introduction to the park actually wasn’t that painful. I came up on the 10th with Tim (from a nonprofit environmental organization called WildAid) and he showed me around, introduced me. So, at least people kind of know why I am here wandering around; although, I’m still not entirely sure of my role. I’m in a waiting period this week until we get the camera trap schedule and know when to go pick them up with the rangers—which will involve a four or five day backpacking trip. Usually this would be fine, except I’ll be sleeping in a hammock and having to keep up with a group of rangers. Also, the Thai are very clean and see it as rude if you don’t wash before dinner. Full out wash. So, I can’t simply go without showering for days like I would normally do backpacking. No, I’ve got to figure out how to take a full bath in the river while being modest (I was told that a swimming suit is not appropriate, but I’ve got to do it with a sarong wrap or something). Anyway, finally getting out in the forest will be something to look forward to. I think I’m going to be very very challenged with these mountains around here!
It is beautiful. I wake up to the sound of gibbons and see full dense forest outside of my windows. But, it is also a touristy park. I eat at a nearby restaurant (all in the park) and the tables are always occupied by some sort of Thai tour group. And, I even saw a couple of foreigners the other day. I haven’t been bold with my Thai yet and get around by smiling, nodding, and pointing. Or, I’ve been staying in my room to myself too much over the past couple of days. On the 17th I’m expecting Kanda, my translator and helper/counterpart from WildAid to arrive. We will be sharing a room and hopefully we can begin to work together on whatever needs to be done for this project.
16 Sept 04
Well, the people I live with finally got me out of my room. The three people (an older gentleman, 33 year old woman, and quite nice to look at 26 year old guy) are employed by the park to give Thai massages. What kind of housing arrangement could be better than that!? Anyway, so I’ve been busy struggling and fumbling and laughing trying to communicate with them. The guy (I think his name is Pom) tries to initiate conversation by bringing things to my room (fruit, coffee, etc.).
I have hot (well warmish) water! Halleluiah! (how do you spell that!?) No matter. That made my day.
My introduction to the park actually wasn’t that painful. I came up on the 10th with Tim (from a nonprofit environmental organization called WildAid) and he showed me around, introduced me. So, at least people kind of know why I am here wandering around; although, I’m still not entirely sure of my role. I’m in a waiting period this week until we get the camera trap schedule and know when to go pick them up with the rangers—which will involve a four or five day backpacking trip. Usually this would be fine, except I’ll be sleeping in a hammock and having to keep up with a group of rangers. Also, the Thai are very clean and see it as rude if you don’t wash before dinner. Full out wash. So, I can’t simply go without showering for days like I would normally do backpacking. No, I’ve got to figure out how to take a full bath in the river while being modest (I was told that a swimming suit is not appropriate, but I’ve got to do it with a sarong wrap or something). Anyway, finally getting out in the forest will be something to look forward to. I think I’m going to be very very challenged with these mountains around here!
It is beautiful. I wake up to the sound of gibbons and see full dense forest outside of my windows. But, it is also a touristy park. I eat at a nearby restaurant (all in the park) and the tables are always occupied by some sort of Thai tour group. And, I even saw a couple of foreigners the other day. I haven’t been bold with my Thai yet and get around by smiling, nodding, and pointing. Or, I’ve been staying in my room to myself too much over the past couple of days. On the 17th I’m expecting Kanda, my translator and helper/counterpart from WildAid to arrive. We will be sharing a room and hopefully we can begin to work together on whatever needs to be done for this project.
16 Sept 04
Well, the people I live with finally got me out of my room. The three people (an older gentleman, 33 year old woman, and quite nice to look at 26 year old guy) are employed by the park to give Thai massages. What kind of housing arrangement could be better than that!? Anyway, so I’ve been busy struggling and fumbling and laughing trying to communicate with them. The guy (I think his name is Pom) tries to initiate conversation by bringing things to my room (fruit, coffee, etc.).
I have hot (well warmish) water! Halleluiah! (how do you spell that!?) No matter. That made my day.
No Plan B Needed
15 July 04
I’m a little freaked out right now that things are going so well for me. The ideal plan A is moving forward. It is official…Peter is sending me to Thailand on JoGayle’s frequent flier miles. I am excited to move forward and scared to fulfill expectations of Peter and myself. Still waiting to hear from faculty I wrote to for graduate schools.
27 July 04
Da da da --- do do do, I’m all shook up. Things feel odd right now. Will I ever not feel that I am in a transition, waiting for something for my true life to start? This IS it, but I’m usually too busy looking forward to notice. My contract at the CRC was just extended 5 months, through January. I will be paid $500 per month while in Thailand plus have my expenses (like food) paid. I’m looking forward to Thailand and I’m not. I feel less excited about actually going for the three months and more excited about the doors that the trip might open up and scared about the responsibilities it might involve. All I can do is be myself.
I’m a little freaked out right now that things are going so well for me. The ideal plan A is moving forward. It is official…Peter is sending me to Thailand on JoGayle’s frequent flier miles. I am excited to move forward and scared to fulfill expectations of Peter and myself. Still waiting to hear from faculty I wrote to for graduate schools.
27 July 04
Da da da --- do do do, I’m all shook up. Things feel odd right now. Will I ever not feel that I am in a transition, waiting for something for my true life to start? This IS it, but I’m usually too busy looking forward to notice. My contract at the CRC was just extended 5 months, through January. I will be paid $500 per month while in Thailand plus have my expenses (like food) paid. I’m looking forward to Thailand and I’m not. I feel less excited about actually going for the three months and more excited about the doors that the trip might open up and scared about the responsibilities it might involve. All I can do is be myself.
Plan A
Not much has changed since my last update. I am still working in Virginia, supplementing my small intern’s stipend by babysitting, and spending my evenings on the front porch of Leach House. This month pivoted around our one week GIS course that we taught for wildlife managers. I was in charge of organization and spent every moment of the course making sure people were happy and answering questions from 8am to 9pm. Despite a few bumps (we had a computer crash and trouble with moving data over the network), all of the evaluations were positive. I also did well with the one lecture I presented about digital data acquisition. Three months ago I knew absolutely nothing about the types of satellite imagery that is available for ecological monitoring and now I was able to give a talk about it. I enjoy the tangible benchmarks of knowledge that I have gained working in the lab. My entire lab notebook is filled with trials and errors and steps and directions about how to perform tasks that I didn’t even know existed three months ago.
I think I am still recovering from the June 14-18 course, but my mood was cheered once again by the possibility of work in Thailand. This still seems like a long-shot possibility, but enough of an option that I have promised myself to pick up practicing Thai again. And, I have visions of future projects involving radio-tracking elephants or Dhole (wild dogs). If things would work out perfectly, they would go something like this: I would head over to Thailand from August to October to work as Peter’s eyes and ears (kind of monitoring the ongoing projects in Khao Yai National Park and making sure the data collection was being done appropriately). This would give me a great opportunity to meet his collaborators at Wild Aid and get a feel for the study area and community. I could begin to think about project options for graduate school. Upon return to the states in the fall (I would already have my schools narrowed down); I would apply to a doctoral program and look forward to future collaboration with the Smithsonian. Hopefully, Peter (my boss) will be able to give me a definite yes or no about sending me to Thailand by the end of the month. He also said I am welcome to stay as long as I like working in the GIS lab, meaning they are happy with my work here and meaning I don’t have to struggle to find another internship for fall.
I have finally gotten around to serious searching of graduate school programs in conservation. Today I found myself most interested in faculty at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, and at University of Florida, Gainesville. The goal this week is to start emailing people I might be interested in working under. I have the added benefit of Peter’s permission to say I am affiliated with the Smithsonian and National Zoo. So, things are looking up and a plan is formulating. But, as always with this conservation biology field, the plan is flexible and open. I’m really just as confused as always :)
I think I am still recovering from the June 14-18 course, but my mood was cheered once again by the possibility of work in Thailand. This still seems like a long-shot possibility, but enough of an option that I have promised myself to pick up practicing Thai again. And, I have visions of future projects involving radio-tracking elephants or Dhole (wild dogs). If things would work out perfectly, they would go something like this: I would head over to Thailand from August to October to work as Peter’s eyes and ears (kind of monitoring the ongoing projects in Khao Yai National Park and making sure the data collection was being done appropriately). This would give me a great opportunity to meet his collaborators at Wild Aid and get a feel for the study area and community. I could begin to think about project options for graduate school. Upon return to the states in the fall (I would already have my schools narrowed down); I would apply to a doctoral program and look forward to future collaboration with the Smithsonian. Hopefully, Peter (my boss) will be able to give me a definite yes or no about sending me to Thailand by the end of the month. He also said I am welcome to stay as long as I like working in the GIS lab, meaning they are happy with my work here and meaning I don’t have to struggle to find another internship for fall.
I have finally gotten around to serious searching of graduate school programs in conservation. Today I found myself most interested in faculty at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, and at University of Florida, Gainesville. The goal this week is to start emailing people I might be interested in working under. I have the added benefit of Peter’s permission to say I am affiliated with the Smithsonian and National Zoo. So, things are looking up and a plan is formulating. But, as always with this conservation biology field, the plan is flexible and open. I’m really just as confused as always :)
GIS me
Somehow I’ve become the GIS “expert” in the lab. Well, not exactly the expert, but the intern who has been here the longest, the one everyone turns to with questions. I don’t think I sat at my desk today longer than thirty minutes. Every small thing David (the previous most experienced intern) had under control I am now running around trying to manage.
I am organizing our upcoming GIS course (we will be teaching for a week in June). In addition to sending out advertisements for the course, answering email and phone queries, and general record keeping of deposits, my main work duties still center on dry forest scenarios. My boss is trying to combine various data sets (rainfall, land cover, fires, elevation) to find the best predictor of dry forests in SE Asia. Currently we are ordering ASTER satellite data to compare actual land cover random points to points of our scenarios to judge their accuracy. On a more exciting note, there is potential for me to get involved in a Clouded Leopard study that the Smithsonian is involved in in Thailand. The focus in the past year or so has been on captive populations, improving living conditions, nutrition, and breeding, but there are plans to extend to in situ populations and construct a GIS habitat analysis. Also, there is talk about looking for a student to go down in the fall and supervise data collection in Khao Yai National Park. (I’m excited without trying to get too excited so I won’t fall hard with disappointment if this thing doesn’t work out). Yet, there is huge potential.
I’ve also taken to babysitting on the weekends for a two year old! Yes, it involves changing diapers. Yes, this was my first experience changing diapers. Niko is a smart kid, you can’t trick him. During my first job both of his parents were at home. They simply wanted to work in their offices uninterrupted. Of course Niko knew they were behind the closed doors and had a screaming fit until I could divert his interest. I enjoying reading books with him as long as he doesn’t insist on the German ones. He speaks a bit of English, German, and Spanish. Lucky.
I am organizing our upcoming GIS course (we will be teaching for a week in June). In addition to sending out advertisements for the course, answering email and phone queries, and general record keeping of deposits, my main work duties still center on dry forest scenarios. My boss is trying to combine various data sets (rainfall, land cover, fires, elevation) to find the best predictor of dry forests in SE Asia. Currently we are ordering ASTER satellite data to compare actual land cover random points to points of our scenarios to judge their accuracy. On a more exciting note, there is potential for me to get involved in a Clouded Leopard study that the Smithsonian is involved in in Thailand. The focus in the past year or so has been on captive populations, improving living conditions, nutrition, and breeding, but there are plans to extend to in situ populations and construct a GIS habitat analysis. Also, there is talk about looking for a student to go down in the fall and supervise data collection in Khao Yai National Park. (I’m excited without trying to get too excited so I won’t fall hard with disappointment if this thing doesn’t work out). Yet, there is huge potential.
I’ve also taken to babysitting on the weekends for a two year old! Yes, it involves changing diapers. Yes, this was my first experience changing diapers. Niko is a smart kid, you can’t trick him. During my first job both of his parents were at home. They simply wanted to work in their offices uninterrupted. Of course Niko knew they were behind the closed doors and had a screaming fit until I could divert his interest. I enjoying reading books with him as long as he doesn’t insist on the German ones. He speaks a bit of English, German, and Spanish. Lucky.
Low Man on the Totem Pole
Interns washing dishes! April 12th through the 23rd I became well acquainted with my “low man on the totem pole” status. We helped out with two weeks of GIS courses and I was in charge of everything from washing dishes to answering questions while people worked through the course lab manual to flagging transects in pouring rain. Moving data, setting software settings, organizing shortcuts, adding print drivers, seemingly easy tasks to prepare the computers for the participants, took much more time than expected. One day I spent all day going from computer to computer installing software. At the end of the day we had only two fully ready computers (when we needed twelve), which meant working well into the weekend.
And, I really was sent in a downpour of a thunderstorm to walk a poorly marked transect and re-flag it to make it visible for the course participants to walk during lab. I returned two hours later a cold, soggy, soaked mess. Usually there are plentiful deer droppings along the transect. This week there were not enough piles for a statistical analysis due to the rain. It was decided that I would walk the whole thing again and place raisins to supplement!
18 April 2004
Sandwiched in between time working in the lab, David and I drove to D.C. to plant trees along the Anacostia River in honor of Earth Day. I am still (in May) waiting for the blisters on my hands to heal. The actual digging to plant was hard work in the upwards of 88 F degree weather, but it felt good to do some manual labor. We get much too soft sitting in front of computer screens all day.
20 April 2004
I officially extended my working time in the GIS lab. Mel gave me an extension until mid-September. This is a good place for me right now to balance learning and relaxation. However, I am just starting to get used to the other interns being temporary. It has been a month, I’ve gotten to be friends with the others living in Leach House, and now they are going. Laura, Mandy, and Dillon have already gone. Tamar is leaving in a week. Ecology Dan is leaving in week. We have room for eleven people in the house, but by mid-May we will be down to two.
22 April 2004
When I stopped home for lunch today I was surprised to see a plastic white hospital bracelet around Heather’s wrist as she lay sunbathing on the front porch. Thinking she must have cut herself or gotten a bump at work, I walked up to talk and as she turned the right side of her face toward me I gasped. Apparently as they were wrestling a captured deer to the ground to tag her ear the person holding the back legs slipped. Heather was kneeling gripping the front legs, with her head within easy kicking distance. She got pummeled directly in the eye, leaving a bloodied hoof mark. Luckily no eye damage, only two stitches on her eyelid and a nasty shiner.
23 April 2004
After work David and I borrowed a shop-vac and started Spring cleaning. We wiped each slat of the vinyl siding on the front of the house by hand until dark. The boy actually got down on his hands and knees with a butter knife to pry out dirt caked between the porch boards so he could fully vacuum. Then, he made us dinner – lemon spiced tuna and ravioli with garlic bread for movie night.
26 April 2004
We spent the day hitting a few Smithsonian spots in D.C. Took the metro in to the Natural History Museum and concentrated on browsing the reptile, insect, and skeletal exhibits. IMAX movie at noon: Jane Goodall and the Gombe chimps. Interesting, but nothing new. The rest of the rain-soaked afternoon was spent trucking around the National Zoo. Highlight for me was low crowds, the pandas, and the mole rats. We watched and laughed at the rats for a good half-hour as they piggy-back each other within a tube system (a tight squeeze) and then shimmed their back legs to push the bottom one away.
And, I really was sent in a downpour of a thunderstorm to walk a poorly marked transect and re-flag it to make it visible for the course participants to walk during lab. I returned two hours later a cold, soggy, soaked mess. Usually there are plentiful deer droppings along the transect. This week there were not enough piles for a statistical analysis due to the rain. It was decided that I would walk the whole thing again and place raisins to supplement!
18 April 2004
Sandwiched in between time working in the lab, David and I drove to D.C. to plant trees along the Anacostia River in honor of Earth Day. I am still (in May) waiting for the blisters on my hands to heal. The actual digging to plant was hard work in the upwards of 88 F degree weather, but it felt good to do some manual labor. We get much too soft sitting in front of computer screens all day.
20 April 2004
I officially extended my working time in the GIS lab. Mel gave me an extension until mid-September. This is a good place for me right now to balance learning and relaxation. However, I am just starting to get used to the other interns being temporary. It has been a month, I’ve gotten to be friends with the others living in Leach House, and now they are going. Laura, Mandy, and Dillon have already gone. Tamar is leaving in a week. Ecology Dan is leaving in week. We have room for eleven people in the house, but by mid-May we will be down to two.
22 April 2004
When I stopped home for lunch today I was surprised to see a plastic white hospital bracelet around Heather’s wrist as she lay sunbathing on the front porch. Thinking she must have cut herself or gotten a bump at work, I walked up to talk and as she turned the right side of her face toward me I gasped. Apparently as they were wrestling a captured deer to the ground to tag her ear the person holding the back legs slipped. Heather was kneeling gripping the front legs, with her head within easy kicking distance. She got pummeled directly in the eye, leaving a bloodied hoof mark. Luckily no eye damage, only two stitches on her eyelid and a nasty shiner.
23 April 2004
After work David and I borrowed a shop-vac and started Spring cleaning. We wiped each slat of the vinyl siding on the front of the house by hand until dark. The boy actually got down on his hands and knees with a butter knife to pry out dirt caked between the porch boards so he could fully vacuum. Then, he made us dinner – lemon spiced tuna and ravioli with garlic bread for movie night.
26 April 2004
We spent the day hitting a few Smithsonian spots in D.C. Took the metro in to the Natural History Museum and concentrated on browsing the reptile, insect, and skeletal exhibits. IMAX movie at noon: Jane Goodall and the Gombe chimps. Interesting, but nothing new. The rest of the rain-soaked afternoon was spent trucking around the National Zoo. Highlight for me was low crowds, the pandas, and the mole rats. We watched and laughed at the rats for a good half-hour as they piggy-back each other within a tube system (a tight squeeze) and then shimmed their back legs to push the bottom one away.
Thorton Gap Backpacking
I’ve been busy photocopying, sending international faxes, learning Spearman’s Rank coefficients, and how to do paired T-tests in Systat, little chores from Melissa in between other bits of projects I am assigned. Also working with a researcher, Micaela, who has wild dog data from South Africa. I helped her plot the positions of predators from GPS points taken in the field. Eventually she wants to break the sightings down by month to visualize the locations of wild dogs, lions, hyenas, and cheetahs. Unfortunately, we ran into a problem where the plotted points didn’t line up with the outline of the park boundary-something to do with the way the park data is projected/displayed. She is trying to learn more about the source map data. I hope to work more with her because the project involves exactly the types of questions I am interested in learning to answer using GIS. The main reason I am now learning GIS skills is because I was turned off by the lack of conservation application of the project I was working on in Thailand. Yet, it seems she has been able to link both behavioral studies and conservation work.
Last weekend David, Mandy, Heather, and I drove into Thorton Gap in Shenandoah National Park on Friday. Then, we walked home – literally to the doorstep of Leach house (a little less than 30 miles total over the course of Fri., Sat., and Sun.). The entire trip was along the Appalachian Trail where the park service has basic wooden huts for backpackers. Nice because we didn’t have to carry a tent, but this also meant that the second night we had a communal hut. There were at least fifteen people at the same site. Got too crowded for my taste and really impressed upon me that I wouldn’t enjoy hiking the entire AT. The route wasn’t exactly steep, steep, but the hills we did walk were plenty challenging for me-I was puffing and panting my way up a few. Upon return we celebrated by going wine tasting (after much needed showers).
Last weekend David, Mandy, Heather, and I drove into Thorton Gap in Shenandoah National Park on Friday. Then, we walked home – literally to the doorstep of Leach house (a little less than 30 miles total over the course of Fri., Sat., and Sun.). The entire trip was along the Appalachian Trail where the park service has basic wooden huts for backpackers. Nice because we didn’t have to carry a tent, but this also meant that the second night we had a communal hut. There were at least fifteen people at the same site. Got too crowded for my taste and really impressed upon me that I wouldn’t enjoy hiking the entire AT. The route wasn’t exactly steep, steep, but the hills we did walk were plenty challenging for me-I was puffing and panting my way up a few. Upon return we celebrated by going wine tasting (after much needed showers).
The Land of Nalgene Bottles
Front Royal, Virginia. And here I was worried about being too casual wearing my fleece in place of a stylish spring jacket for the plane ride. David, the guy who picked me up at the airport, picked me out of the crowd BECAUSE of my fleece and hiking boots and no makeup/nails done. The only reason I didn’t have my Nalgene bottle to complete the ensemble was because I left it at home on the kitchen counter by mistake. As David commented, “we all look the same around here.” Seems to be a great group of outdoors/science people. It is scary how alike everyone is. I’m living with a roommate and eight others. The house is an old farmhouse and shows it, but the rooms are spacious. Three refrigerators, dishwasher, washer and dryer, cable T.V., and hot showers this time.
I spent my first week of work self-consciously, nervously working through the beginners guide to GIS and ArcView. I got nervous because Melissa asked me to answer the questions in the manual for use in an upcoming course. Now, I get the general gist of the training, but wasn’t positive about many of my answers. I struggle silently on my own because I feel like I should try to cover every avenue possible and do everything I can to come up with an answer before I interrupt someone else’s concentration. Some hours I really question whether or not I can handle sitting in front of a computer 8hrs. a day. Come home after work with a headache. I have to get used to working in a big room among others – constant talking, movement while people work on their own projects.
Don’t think I will have a lack of things to do after work or on weekends. The Conservation and Research Center (CRC) holds a weekly lecture series open to the community. On Wednesday we went to a lecture: Banded Mongooses: Enlightened Despots and Caring Uncles, that focused on the complex social system of the communal banded mongoose. FYI: naked mole rats have a community similar to termites that includes sterile workers/helpers. Cool, huh? On Thursday, 14 interns came along for a tour of the Smithsonian Museum Support Center. It is basically where they store all of the items not on display and where they prepare biological specimens. The day also included getting an ID badge from the Smithsonian Institution and a quick run through of the new mammal exhibit in the Natural History Museum. AND, to top it off, our house hosted a party the same night. A frantic week.
I spent my first week of work self-consciously, nervously working through the beginners guide to GIS and ArcView. I got nervous because Melissa asked me to answer the questions in the manual for use in an upcoming course. Now, I get the general gist of the training, but wasn’t positive about many of my answers. I struggle silently on my own because I feel like I should try to cover every avenue possible and do everything I can to come up with an answer before I interrupt someone else’s concentration. Some hours I really question whether or not I can handle sitting in front of a computer 8hrs. a day. Come home after work with a headache. I have to get used to working in a big room among others – constant talking, movement while people work on their own projects.
Don’t think I will have a lack of things to do after work or on weekends. The Conservation and Research Center (CRC) holds a weekly lecture series open to the community. On Wednesday we went to a lecture: Banded Mongooses: Enlightened Despots and Caring Uncles, that focused on the complex social system of the communal banded mongoose. FYI: naked mole rats have a community similar to termites that includes sterile workers/helpers. Cool, huh? On Thursday, 14 interns came along for a tour of the Smithsonian Museum Support Center. It is basically where they store all of the items not on display and where they prepare biological specimens. The day also included getting an ID badge from the Smithsonian Institution and a quick run through of the new mammal exhibit in the Natural History Museum. AND, to top it off, our house hosted a party the same night. A frantic week.
Pandas?!
I returned from Thailand on February 2nd. They gave me a nice send-off. During my time in the sanctuary I held an English class for some of the children, and the morning I left their bus made a special stop at my house to say goodbye :) Since then I have been busy unpacking, cleaning my field gear, and traveling to surrounding states to visit family and friends. I have barely had time to settle in and I will be packing again to leave for Virginia on March 14th.
The other news is that I applied for a Ph.D. position at Michigan State University under Dr. Jianguo Liu. I was planning to apply to graduate schools this coming fall, so this was unexpected timing. I saw an announcement on the Ecolog Listserve posted March 4th, advertising the opportunity to join Liu's interdisciplinary and international team on biocomplexity. The major goal of the NSF-funded project is to study complex interactions among panda habitat, people, and policies. Research projects of the lab group members seemed to coincide well with my broad range of interests. However, I was tentative to apply without a Master's degree. I just have to wait and see if anything comes of this...
The other news is that I applied for a Ph.D. position at Michigan State University under Dr. Jianguo Liu. I was planning to apply to graduate schools this coming fall, so this was unexpected timing. I saw an announcement on the Ecolog Listserve posted March 4th, advertising the opportunity to join Liu's interdisciplinary and international team on biocomplexity. The major goal of the NSF-funded project is to study complex interactions among panda habitat, people, and policies. Research projects of the lab group members seemed to coincide well with my broad range of interests. However, I was tentative to apply without a Master's degree. I just have to wait and see if anything comes of this...
Thailand In Review
23 Jan 2004
We came across a Reticulated Python on trail Tawk this evening; big around as my thigh. 4-5m length. “Large adults can be dangerous to humans” reads the snake guide. I wanted to see one before I left and now I have. Nice. Need I say more?
28 Jan 2004
I am typing my last entry from Thailand at home this afternoon. Home. How many places will become “home” to me; will I ever own on actual permanent home? As I write I’m listening to a group of workers jab and talk. I’m going to miss hearing the language, the inflection, the simple foreignness of it to me. Will it feel odd to sit in a restaurant and understand every passing conversation when I return to America? I told myself I will not feel guilty for taking the time to explore now while I am flexible. (Yet, a little voice asks, just how long is it reasonable for that “exploration” to go on? How long before you are no longer really exploring, but instead are avoiding decisions / challenges / responsibility?)
My biggest regret this year is that I did not learn Thai. I made some effort and know the characters (but not the tone rules for reading) and some basic sentences, key vocabulary. I could have studied harder, daily. I am embarrassed by my lack of effort and understanding despite having the time to learn and plenty of resources (books and Wichian, my private forest tutor). I just never developed a kept routine. I always told myself that if I was put into an environment where I had to learn a language I could do it. In fact, I am considering graduate school programs where I would spend time studying in South America and be required to learn Spanish – my thoughts being that maybe I would finally pull together all of the bits of Spanish I struggled so much with in high school and college….Now I realize (or perhaps have resigned myself to the idea) that me becoming multi-lingual is something I may never achieve.
Yesterday was my last day working in the forest. As I sat finishing a full day with PB I realized that I was focused all day, drawing and learning individuals, discussing with Lek where new trails should be cut, which trails should be measured next. These last days I am working as if I am not leaving, but I guess what else would I do? There is a feeling of disappointment of leaving the project “unfinished,” just as we are ready to “name” the PB individuals and expand the scope of the data collection. Andreas and Carola have been preparing plans for the upcoming workshop and next month’s schedule – things I won’t be participating in, and I couldn’t help feeling a bit left out.
Working in Thailand a year has been demanding, yes, and the introduction to a new culture stressful at times, but overall I had no deadlines, only my own expectations to meet. I had time to think and time to sleep. How have I changed after living in Thailand for a year (Thailand, Kate!)? Practically speaking, I think I have gained more confidence to deal with future unknowns. Recently I spent a week in Bangkok by myself, rode the bus, and hitch-hiked home – all alone. I just did what I had to do to communicate. Skill wise, I have skills of identifying individual animals and recording activity budget. I am comfortable with a machete. I can start a generator. I drive a motorbike. I enjoy driving a motorbike. Probably one of the most unexpected events of my Thailand stay though has been the joy I found in teaching English. At first I was dragged in by guilt about helping Eileen, but now I find myself engaged in thinking and planning new lessons. The kids draw energy from me that I didn’t know I possessed...
We came across a Reticulated Python on trail Tawk this evening; big around as my thigh. 4-5m length. “Large adults can be dangerous to humans” reads the snake guide. I wanted to see one before I left and now I have. Nice. Need I say more?
28 Jan 2004
I am typing my last entry from Thailand at home this afternoon. Home. How many places will become “home” to me; will I ever own on actual permanent home? As I write I’m listening to a group of workers jab and talk. I’m going to miss hearing the language, the inflection, the simple foreignness of it to me. Will it feel odd to sit in a restaurant and understand every passing conversation when I return to America? I told myself I will not feel guilty for taking the time to explore now while I am flexible. (Yet, a little voice asks, just how long is it reasonable for that “exploration” to go on? How long before you are no longer really exploring, but instead are avoiding decisions / challenges / responsibility?)
My biggest regret this year is that I did not learn Thai. I made some effort and know the characters (but not the tone rules for reading) and some basic sentences, key vocabulary. I could have studied harder, daily. I am embarrassed by my lack of effort and understanding despite having the time to learn and plenty of resources (books and Wichian, my private forest tutor). I just never developed a kept routine. I always told myself that if I was put into an environment where I had to learn a language I could do it. In fact, I am considering graduate school programs where I would spend time studying in South America and be required to learn Spanish – my thoughts being that maybe I would finally pull together all of the bits of Spanish I struggled so much with in high school and college….Now I realize (or perhaps have resigned myself to the idea) that me becoming multi-lingual is something I may never achieve.
Yesterday was my last day working in the forest. As I sat finishing a full day with PB I realized that I was focused all day, drawing and learning individuals, discussing with Lek where new trails should be cut, which trails should be measured next. These last days I am working as if I am not leaving, but I guess what else would I do? There is a feeling of disappointment of leaving the project “unfinished,” just as we are ready to “name” the PB individuals and expand the scope of the data collection. Andreas and Carola have been preparing plans for the upcoming workshop and next month’s schedule – things I won’t be participating in, and I couldn’t help feeling a bit left out.
Working in Thailand a year has been demanding, yes, and the introduction to a new culture stressful at times, but overall I had no deadlines, only my own expectations to meet. I had time to think and time to sleep. How have I changed after living in Thailand for a year (Thailand, Kate!)? Practically speaking, I think I have gained more confidence to deal with future unknowns. Recently I spent a week in Bangkok by myself, rode the bus, and hitch-hiked home – all alone. I just did what I had to do to communicate. Skill wise, I have skills of identifying individual animals and recording activity budget. I am comfortable with a machete. I can start a generator. I drive a motorbike. I enjoy driving a motorbike. Probably one of the most unexpected events of my Thailand stay though has been the joy I found in teaching English. At first I was dragged in by guilt about helping Eileen, but now I find myself engaged in thinking and planning new lessons. The kids draw energy from me that I didn’t know I possessed...
“Be serious: Long Day. Be happy: Short Day.” - Khun Wichian
It rained for a substantial amount of time last night, but it wasn’t until I rolled out of bed at 4:20AM that I felt the change. I could feel the humidity in the air as a soft moist thick blanket surrounding me. Today was the first day in over two months that I did not wear my fleece in the morning on the motorbike. I was reminded what it is like to search for langurs when the forest feels tropical, wet. Immediately, I was soaked with a combination of sweat and wetness from brushing up against foliage. My glasses fogged over. Yet, it turned into a day for napping – a breeze rustling the leaves, patches of sunlight, blue sky. Trees cracking, creaking in the wind. Ticks crawling up my back, in my hair, resting in a fine powdery dirt of the salt lick, the smell of elephant. Today we had a “short” day.
It hit me today how far we have come, what we have accomplished – from sitting 50m away from a flash of a langur group, a sole tail visible for hours, to observing infant langurs coming to the ground 20m away! I had a beautiful afternoon shift with Lek and PS toady. Gibbon calls and the hollow clang of large bamboo rattling in the background. My last day with my favorite focal group. They went to the TW/TX salt lick. I have never had the chance to see them there before. It was pure chance that they went today. I got lucky. For three hours they climbed down to eat dirt and I counted the entire group, all nine, resting in the same low tree above the salt lick. It was beautiful seeing the faces, which I now know as individuals, so close, unafraid, accepting. It was a moment where you say to yourself: wow, this is what make all our work, all the long boring tick and leech filled days, worth it. The perfect send off.
It hit me today how far we have come, what we have accomplished – from sitting 50m away from a flash of a langur group, a sole tail visible for hours, to observing infant langurs coming to the ground 20m away! I had a beautiful afternoon shift with Lek and PS toady. Gibbon calls and the hollow clang of large bamboo rattling in the background. My last day with my favorite focal group. They went to the TW/TX salt lick. I have never had the chance to see them there before. It was pure chance that they went today. I got lucky. For three hours they climbed down to eat dirt and I counted the entire group, all nine, resting in the same low tree above the salt lick. It was beautiful seeing the faces, which I now know as individuals, so close, unafraid, accepting. It was a moment where you say to yourself: wow, this is what make all our work, all the long boring tick and leech filled days, worth it. The perfect send off.
Where is PS?
“Don’t bother coming home if you don’t find them,” Guillaume’s parting words to Wichian and I as we set off to search for langur group PS. We haven’t located the group for three full days now. We had a beautiful breezy afternoon for searching, but it still gets tiring walking trail after trail after trail. I was a walking zombie in the morning. For the first hours or so as we waited for the sunrise and slowly (painfully slow) walked in search of PS, my eyes fluttered shut at every stopping point. Heavy. I couldn’t manage to jolt myself awake. Eventually at 7:30 at trail Tcat 350m we heard two adult males double barking at each other: one about 150m to the NE and one about 120m to the SW. Now, at least we had a target area. But, despite walking around all morning, for six hours, still no PS. Wichian turned to me multiple times throughout the day, “Kate, I think we’re sleeping in the forest tonight!”
10 Jan 04
On another note, out of the blue, just this month, group PB large has become a good group. Prior to December I had only encountered the group maybe twice for a substantial chunk of time – a handful of encounters among all of us. Semi-habituated group of about 19 individuals (nine adult females, one adult male, one juvenile male, six infant II’s, and two infant I’s (meaning they are still orange in color)). I’ve spent a couple of days this month following them all day at a range similar to habituated groups (< 30m). At times we were directly below them chatting and they didn’t seem bothered. Only when we generated loud crashes walking through leaves did they peer cautiously and take notice. No sneaking away on their part, only occasional whup, whup warning hoots if they were disturbed by us focusing the binoculars on them for too long. Unfortunately, throughout the day today, one-tone, grey light offered poor clarity for attempts at drawing/identifying individuals. I appreciated the experience of the unique sound of falling seedpods from a feeding langur group. I know it in my sleep. I know I’d better wake up and follow the moving group if I cease to hear it.
I can’t believe that I will be going home so soon (I leave on Feb. 2)! Some part of me is hoping the month will pass quickly because I am anxious to get home and see my family and friends, yet I know I will miss Phu Kheio terribly. It is difficult to imagine that I may never see Wichian or Lek again (the rangers I work with daily). What I really need is a month at home and then to return to Thailand. Very mixed emotions.
10 Jan 04
On another note, out of the blue, just this month, group PB large has become a good group. Prior to December I had only encountered the group maybe twice for a substantial chunk of time – a handful of encounters among all of us. Semi-habituated group of about 19 individuals (nine adult females, one adult male, one juvenile male, six infant II’s, and two infant I’s (meaning they are still orange in color)). I’ve spent a couple of days this month following them all day at a range similar to habituated groups (< 30m). At times we were directly below them chatting and they didn’t seem bothered. Only when we generated loud crashes walking through leaves did they peer cautiously and take notice. No sneaking away on their part, only occasional whup, whup warning hoots if they were disturbed by us focusing the binoculars on them for too long. Unfortunately, throughout the day today, one-tone, grey light offered poor clarity for attempts at drawing/identifying individuals. I appreciated the experience of the unique sound of falling seedpods from a feeding langur group. I know it in my sleep. I know I’d better wake up and follow the moving group if I cease to hear it.
I can’t believe that I will be going home so soon (I leave on Feb. 2)! Some part of me is hoping the month will pass quickly because I am anxious to get home and see my family and friends, yet I know I will miss Phu Kheio terribly. It is difficult to imagine that I may never see Wichian or Lek again (the rangers I work with daily). What I really need is a month at home and then to return to Thailand. Very mixed emotions.